


You're Gay?

by LilTabasco



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: M/M, Oneshot, kotetsu is as dense as a gotdamn building, no homo bunny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 15:24:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13977975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilTabasco/pseuds/LilTabasco
Summary: Kotetsu learns that Barnaby's gay, and can't seem to figure out why it would bother him that his best friend and partner would identify that way. A oneshot about Kotetsu's inability to get a clue.





	You're Gay?

Kotetsu was a self-professed old fogey. But he knew manners, and was exceedingly more concerned with his friends’ comfort than his own old fashioned mentality of “boy-meets-girl-gets-married-and-have-a-kid”. He respected Nathan's pronouns, and listened to both Pao Lin and Ivan with the politeness and attentiveness that their parents wouldn't afford them as they admitted to their own questions of sexuality. And yet…

Agnes towered over Barnaby and Kotetsu, her fists planted permanently on her wide hips. The look she gave the dynamic duo was formidable, and with her pursed lips, it was obvious that she was in a Mood ™.

“Reporters are getting more insistent on learning about your lovelife,” Agnes grumbled, and she didn’t even have to say she was addressing Barnaby specifically.

Even so, Kotetsu loved to try (and fail) to lighten the mood. “Ehhh? That’s not so bad - I’m off the market,” Kotetsu rubbed at his chin, coupled with a goofy grin. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Barnaby give the tiniest smile, but the brat hid it as soon as Agnes’ temper flared.

“Like hell anyone cares, Tiger.” She snapped her fingers, and rounded the desk with a ferocity that made him cower back into the rather squeaky chair he’d been provided. He tucked his hat a little lower down onto his forehead. “Barnaby… I know you don’t want the mass media to know about it, but - ,”

“And I stand firm with that,” Barnaby interrupted. It was the closest thing to rude Kotetsu had seen him manage - well, outside of his actions to Kotetsu. Kotetsu focused on his partner’s buck-teeth that peeked from behind his parted lips. “I’ve been entirely open and honest with the people of Sternbild about my identity, and my personal life. This is one thing I don’t want turned into a spectacle.”

“We live in a modern era,” Agnes protested. “No one’s going to care that you’re gay.”

Barnaby probably countermanded Agnes, but Kotetsu didn’t hear it. Instead, he turned slowly, and loudly, in his leather seat, drawing the attention of both the other arguments.

“You’re… uh - ,” Kotetsu didn’t say the word. Couldn’t, for some reason. He kept finding himself staring at Barnaby, as if he were a strange creature that had just materialized in front of Kotetsu, apropos of nothing. 

Barnaby frowned. “Is that a problem?” Barnaby had this amazing knack (or annoying habit, if you asked Kotetsu) for managing to sound as if absolutely nothing were wrong. His exact tone was, I’m Perfectly Fine, But If Something Were Wrong, It Would Definitely Be Your Fault. Kotetsu was almost exclusively the one this was used on, and thus was pretty handy at recognizing it. Unfortunately, he was pretty bad at actually resolving the situation.

“Eh? I mean… no. Just… weird, is all!” Which was the truth. As far as Kotetsu was concerned, Barnaby didn’t have a sexuality. Unless you counted the weird little thrill the kid seemed to get from using the nice hole puncher - which Kotetsu might consider, because honestly, Barnaby always looked a bit too thrilled.

“Weird.” Barnaby said it flatly, with no expression on his face. His teeth were no longer visible, as he’d flattened his mouth into a grim line. Agnes stood quietly to the side, eyes closed as if she were in prayer.

“Well, yeah.” Kotetsu shrugged, and mentally kicked himself. He recognized the warning signs. Why wouldn’t he shut up? Why couldn’t he stop, say sorry, and move on? But no, he kept going. “I can’t imagine you… y’know, canoodling with some guy.”

“Canoodling.” Again. Flat. Barnaby rose from his chair, and the lucky bastard didn’t make a single sound. It was one elegant pull, and suddenly Barnaby was at his impressive six foot mark in the sky, staring down his long nose. “Agnes. I maintain my answer as a no.” He made a demonstrative motion towards Kotetsu, and then promptly left.

Kotetsu watched Barnaby disappear, before Agnes bore down upon him. He was chewed out for many things, none of which were particularly new complaints. He was insensitive, he was an oaf, he needed to get with the times. Then he was released, with the threat of demotion following behind him like an ominous cloud as Agnes’ heels clacked dangerous tattoos against the floor.

Kotetsu shoved his hands into his pockets. He jutted his jaw out, and mused as he walked. Barnaby was gay… it sent an uncomfortable prickle up his spine. He was disappointed in himself with that. He was supposed to be there for Barnaby no matter what - so why should it matter if Barnaby was gay? The revelation was still shocking, though…

“If Barnaby’s gay, that means he’ll date a guy…”

“Yeah, dumbass, that’s kind of the point.” Antonio was entirely unsympathetic to Kotetsu’s cause, as the two sat at a crappy burger joint that they’d stumbled across. The plastic tables were uncomfortable, and had a gritty texture that seemed to capture every disgusting particle in the air. The food was delicious, though.

“I just…” Kotetsu trailed off in frustration, unable to make his point. “Isn’t it weird?”

Antonio snorted. He dug his thick fingers into the bucket their fries had been delivered in. “Not really. I figured, anyways.”

Kotestu gave an accusatory glance. “Isn’t that like, profiling?” He waved his burger through the air.

“Says the man who’s avoiding him for whatever reason.” Antonio’s brows maintained a permanent furrow, and he hunkered over the table. Intimidating, even with three fries poking out over his bottom lip.

“I’m not avoiding him.”

“Really? Did you tell him you were canceling your daily lunch routine.”

“I’m allowed to have other friends,” Kotetsu protested hotly. 

Antonio didn’t seem terribly impressed. “Why’s this bugging you, exactly? Didn’t take you for the type.”

Kotetsu wasn’t, and that was the problem. He couldn’t explain why Barnaby’s sudden revelation would affect him this way. 

“What - do you think he peeks at you in the changing room or somethin’?”

“That’s not funny,” Kotetsu cut in. “Bunny wouldn’t do that.”

“Then I don’t get the problem.” Antonio shrugged. “Your best friend is gay. So what?”

Kotetsu frowned. When had Barnaby become his best friend, instead of Antonio.

When I decided I couldn’t live without him. Kotetsu bowed his head, defeated. They returned to the office, and Kotetsu saw Barnaby’s rigid form, still posted at their desk. He had a sandwich that he’d clearly picked apart, and left the pickles splattered across his wrapper haphazardly. There was also a pile of mayo, that looked like it’d been savagely scraped from the meal.

“Hiya, Bunny,” Kotetsu said, as he lowered himself into his rolling chair. Barnaby sniffed an acknowledgement. “Oiii. I eat once without you, and you go right back to your hold habits.”

“I want to know what your problem was earlier.” Barnaby turned a fierce glare on Kotetsu, and for a moment, the older man felt his heart stutter to a halt. It was so like Barnaby, that for a moment, Kotetsu felt overwhelmed. The directness of it, and the sheer passion that lined every inch of Barnaby’s personality.

“Ah…” Kotetsu sighed, and scratched where his mask fell on his cheek. “Bunny… it’s just… it’s not that you’re… y’know?” He shrugged rather emphatically. “It’s imagining you in a relationship. It’s weird.”

Most of Kotetsu’s life had been a series of “too late”s. Too late to capture the criminal, too late in his life to have his full power, too late to realize the harm he’d done to Kaede, and too late to say good-bye to his wife. And now, too late to realize that he’d offended Barnaby. Badly.

“Really.” Barnaby’s voice was like ice, and it cut gouges into Kotetsu’s core. “I’m terribly sorry that the idea of me existing as a human being on this earth and acting on any sort of need for human companionship disgusts you.” He rose, and he practically quivered with unadulterated rage. The last time Kotetsu had seen him this mad, Kotetsu had just slapped him dead across the face.

“Bunny, that’s not what I -,”

Barnaby had left. The chill he took with him soon permeated the other heroes as well. It seemed that Barnaby had confided in Nathan, who had then told Karina, who told Pao Lin, who told Ivan, who told Keith, who informed Antonio. None of who told Kotetsu, until he entered the workout room the next morning to rather stilted hellos.

“Did I do something wrong…?” Kotetsu fiddled with the rag on his neck.

“You usually do.” Barnaby said simply, as he brought his elbows together on the machine. Kotetsu, wounded, quickly sat down. It was unfair of Barnaby to say that, but Kotetsu supposed it was unfair of him to not be supportive of his partner. But…

“Everyone’s rather upset with you.” Karina paced lightly on the treadmill next to Kotetsu. She daintily dabbed her towel against her face. She’d once told Kotetsu that girls didn’t sweat… he’d promptly reminded her that he had a wife and daughter. She’d turned a ludicrous color, and swept from the room, so he’d never brought it up again. 

“I noticed,” Kotetsu grumbled. He saw Nathan doting on Barnaby nearby. If Barnaby was gay, would he count Nathan as an eligible partner…? Kotetsu gritted his teeth, and turned his head sharply away. This was stupid. In Kotetsu’s head, he and Barnaby were supposed to be partnered until…well, forever. He hated how selfish that sounded, now, but Kotetsu had never considered the possibility that Barnaby could have a romantic life. One that could potentially intervene with being a hero.

“You should stop thinking so hard,” Karina spoke again, “it doesn’t suit you.” She pursed her lips, and frowned down at her treadmill. “Why not just apologize to him? You know how he gets.”

And boy, did Kotetsu know. He hadn’t seen Barnaby this angry since the near-death experience, but he had seen him close. When Kotetsu had tried to help with the laundry, and had bleached Barnaby’s white leather jacket. Or the time that Kotetsu caught the oven on fire. Or the time where he’d thrown a bowling ball directly into Barnaby’s back. Or the time…

“Since when do you care about stupid stuff like this anyways? Please tell me you’re not like, secretly a bigot or something?”

“I’m not,” Kotetsu huffed. Bigot was a nasty word, and he certainly wasn’t one. He didn’t have a problem with gay people - he had a problem with Barnaby being gay. Which was not the same thing… he thought. So Kotetsu did what he did best - which was to completely ignore the situation at hand.

“Oiii, Bunny,” Kotetsu leaned onto the younger man’s desk, and flagged a hefty stack of papers in his face. “These need to be hole-punched,” he singsonged.

“Then do it yourself. I’m quite busy.”

Those were the only words Barnaby spoke to him for the rest of the day, no matter how much Kotetsu prodded him otherwise. This went on for several days, and while the other heroes had slowly warmed back up to him, Barnaby remained frosty and on edge. Kotetsu let it be, until they got a call, and were soon face-to-face with a problem Kotetsu hadn’t experienced in a while.

Barnaby wasn’t trusting him, wasn’t listening to him, and was back to his strong-headed way of dealing with problems. It had been years since Kotetsu had grappled with a Barnaby like this, and once more, he was on the receiving end of scalding disdain. It was as if Barnaby had regressed back to his natural state, undoing all of the hard work the heroes had put in to helping him rehabilitate.

It wasn’t until the NEXT sent Kotetsu - sans powers - flying into a building that Barnaby seemed to remember himself. Barnaby’s face plate had snapped up, and soon the younger man was crouched over him, face visibly lined with worry. His green eyes glittered, and Kotetsu remembered thinking that Barnaby’s eyes would be the last thing he’d see in life… and how okay he’d been with it.

“I’m okay, Bunny,” Kotetsu grunted out. He kept his face plate firmly in place, as he was certain he had a rather sappy expression on his face. At the confirmation, Barnaby’s face hardened once more, and he quickly took off after the villain. Afterwards, Kotetsu hid his limp for a few days. It was a little too easy, since Barnaby was refusing to look at him.

Kaede came to visit on his off day, and immediately demanded to know where Barnaby was.

“He’s like, always here, isn’t he?” Kaede stood on tiptoe, and tried to peer around Kotetsu’s apartment, as if Barnaby would magically appear. It hurt, but Kaede was right. Barnaby had taken up a permanent spot in Kotetsu’s homelife. Even on Barnaby’s hiatus, there were still pieces of his existence cluttering up Kotetsu’s apartment. Clothes Kotetsu hadn’t gotten around to washing, a spare hairbrush, a few pairs of glasses.

“Ah… he’s not gonna be here this time, kiddo.” Kotetsu gave a half-hearted smile, which Kaede returned with absolute disdain.

“What did you do?” she snapped.

“Eh? Why does it have to be that I did something!” Kotetsu stung with indignation. Sure - it was his fault, but… she didn’t have to just assume.

“It’s always your fault!” Kaede retorted, and the way her nose bunched up screamed Tomoe at him. Kotetsu battled with himself for a moment, but part of his and Kaede’s agreement was that he was going to attempt to stop treating her like a baby. Kaede wanted to have actual discussions with her father. She was thirteen, and she wanted to be treated as such. It was hard. Kotetsu had a tendency to infantilize those around him.

He told her what happened. Kaede listened to it all, her expression foreboding.

“Dad, that was like, so rude of you.” And that was it. Kaede offered no wisdom, nor did she illuminate what exactly Kotetsu should do. Instead she slung her backpack onto the floor, clambered onto the couch, and hiked up Barnaby’s blanket around her shoulders. The TV was soon blaring, and if he tried to talk, he was promptly shut down. He tried to remind her that she had limited time with him before she went back to Anju, and she reminded him he had limited time on this Earth if he wouldn’t quiet down.

Kotetsu idly thumbed at his phone, and considered calling Barnaby.

Kotetsu called Barnaby.

It rang for longer than normal, but soon Barnaby’s face appeared on the screen. “What, old man? I’m busy.”

Kotetsu tried to consider it a good sign that Barnaby had bothered to answer.

“Hey, Kaede was asking about you.” Kotetsu had meandered into the kitchen, fully aware of how pathetic it was to use his daughter as some pathetic excuse to see his partner. He also knew Kaede would immediately call him out on it.

Barnaby’s face softened, just barely. “Tell her I’m sorry that I can’t make it.”

“Oh.” Kotetsu bit the inside of his cheek. Barnaby had averted his gaze, and Kotetsu felt desperate. “Bunny, I - ,”

“I’ve got to go.” 

Barnaby abruptly ended the call. Kotetsu shambled back into the living room to spend the rest of the day with Kaede, an empty pit wide in his stomach.

At work, Kotetsu prodded Barnaby in the shoulder. “Wanna go get lunch?”

“I made plans with Nathan.”

“Then cancel them,” Kotetsu suggested, quite rudely. Barnaby’s face reflected exactly what he thought of that idea, so Kotetsu shut his trap. He could catch a hint sometimes. His fingers drummed restlessly against his desk, and he watched when Barnaby left. His eyes tracked the blonde until he was out of sight, before he slumped forward, not hungry.

“Weird that you’re still in here, Tiger.” Karina’s voice jolted him from his moping, and he turned a rather pathetic stare in her direction. “Still trouble in paradise?” her tone was scathing, and she promptly flopped down into Barnaby’s chair. She crossed her legs, and glowered at Kotetsu over a cup of something steaming.

“Ah… I guess…” He scratched his nail against wood. “You shouldn’t hang around here - go enjoy yourself.”

“You’re not gonna eat?”

“Not really hungry,” he returned. Karina’s face was on par with if Kotetsu had announced he was quitting his job again.

“This is serious, huh?”

Kotetsu shrugged, and knocked his hat off of his head so he could clumsily run his fingers through the messy hair. It was a bit sweaty, but he hoped it wasn’t too visible. “I… can’t get used to not having Bunny in my life,” he confided, a rare moment of genuine honesty about his feelings. Saying it felt good, to admit it, out loud, but he was embarrassed that it was to Karina.

Her eyes narrowed. “Of course,” she grumbled. “Look. Why don’t you just sit for two seconds to think about why Barnaby’s sexuality would affect you?”

“But it doesn’t,” Kotetsu protested.

“Obviously it does.” Karina sipped from her cup, and gave her hair a plaintive toss. “If you’d stop being stupid old you for two seconds you’d probably piece it together.”

Kotetsu scrubbed at his face. “You’re not exactly being helpful.” He jabbed a finger in her direction. Accusatory, while three more faced his direction.

Karina’s face slumped into a scowl. “As if I’m gonna help Mr. Perfect!” She stomped her foot, and angrily slurped more from her cup. “It already pisses me off enough the way you two look at each other, and I’ll be damned if I contribute to that!”

Kotetsu huffed. “You shouldn’t curse like that! It’s not very lady-like!”

Karina rolled her eyes. “This isn't 1950s Oriental Town, Tiger, I can curse if I very well feel like it! Especially if my heart’s being broken.” She rose haughtily from her seat. As she stormed off, Kotetsu realized that Barnaby’s reveal must have affected her as well. She probably had a little crush on him, and it had been dashed.

Poor girl, he thought.

Barnaby returned shortly after, frigid silence his companion. Kotetsu scribbled on his paper, and cast sidelong glances at Barnaby. Why couldn’t he get over this…? It should be simple - to apologize. But he knew Barnaby would want reasons for why Kotetsu had reacted the way he did and… Kotetsu didn’t have them.

He glanced over at Barnaby’s desk, and realized that, since they’d been fighting, Barnaby’s Compliment Counter was reset to zero. Every week, Kotetsu was given a limited amount of compliments he was allowed to pay, before Barnaby cut him off. 

He felt this would get him back in Barnaby’s good graces. It had always worked with Tomoe, after all.

“Neh, Bunny?” Barnaby didn’t react, but Kotetsu persisted. “Your face is wrinkled up in such a cute way while you focus.”

It did not have the desired effect. Instead, Barnaby froze, and turned sharply to Kotetsu, face now creased with rage.

“Is this some kind of joke to you?” Barnaby demanded, voice short and clipped as he enunciated each syllable like a punch. Stunned, Kotetsu quickly held up his hands to abate Barnaby. 

“No way! I meant it! You are cute!” Kotetsu sought desperately to ease his partner’s rage, but Barnaby appeared to be almost shaking, the curls on his cheeks quivering just slightly. His green eyes had hardened into chips as he speared Kotetsu over the top of his glasses.

“Shut up,” Barnaby snapped. “I can’t deal with you right now.” He quickly stood, and hastily threw his jacket on. Kotetsu sat, dumbly, for just a moment, before he gave chase. This had gone on for too long. Kotetsu didn’t know what was wrong with him, he just knew that Barnaby was more important than anything - aside from his family. He had to fix this.

He caught Barnaby by the gym, which was deserted. “Wait!” Kotetsu said, loud enough to actually halt Barnaby. “I’m sorry.”

Barnaby’s boots clicked ominously against the tile. “Sorry for what?” he spit out. “Finding my very being so absolutely repulsive?”

“That’s not how I meant it,” Kotetsu protested, “and you know that. Barnaby…” his real name slipped from his tongue, but it seemed to be the right thing. It attracted the younger man’s attention enough for Kotetsu to continue. “You know you’re one of the most important things in my life.” He held his hand out, and Barnaby took it carefully. He turned, inch by inch, to look Kotetsu head on.

“Then why.” Barnaby did exactly what Kotetsu had known he would do. He needed to have the answer to everything. So much of his life had been built around secrets, lies, and falsehoods, that he had to have a proper response to everything in life.

Kotetsu hesitated, unsure. “I don’t know,” he said, retchedly. Barnaby went to draw away once more. “Wait! No! That’s… Bunny…” Kotetsu struggled with the words, but Barnaby seemed willing to wait now that effort had been put forth. Kotetsu sucked in a ragged breath. “You’ve never… expressed interest in anyone. For as long as we’ve known each other. Finding out that you… did like people. It just… it’s selfish, but it made it real that you’d… grow up. Find someone. Leave the… hero business behind. And… me.” Kotetsu shrugged, but he felt Barnaby’s fingers tighten around their connected hands.

“Kotetsu…” Barnaby breathed his name, and it sent a wave of electricity through Kotetsu. He felt as if he could listen to Barnaby say his name for all of eternity, in that exact tone. He’d felt love in that whisper, and Kotetsu felt his heart constrict as he realized that no one had said his name that way since Tomoe.

“Not… that I want you to - y’know - not do those things,” Kotetsu cringed, and shook his head. “You’re young - you’ve still got a whole life to live. I’m sorry, Bunny, that I made you feel like… well, like I cared about… that.”

“Kotetsu,” Barnaby said it again, but louder. Kotetsu didn’t care. Each syllable that Barnaby said fell on him like water for a dying man. This stupid fight had gone on for too long. He wanted his best friend back. He wanted their late nights together, and their shared smiles, and laughs. “I’m not going to leave you.” Barnaby took another step closer, and soon Kotetsu realized they were almost too close. Barnaby’s breath brushed over his face, and Kotetsu gulped.

“R-right… uh.” He felt as if his brain had liquefied - what little of it was left, anyways. He remembered himself, momentarily. “I really… am sorry, Bunny. I could care less about anything like that, as long as I have you.” 

For once, Kotetsu seemed to have said the right thing. Barnaby practically crumpled forward, releasing Kotetsu’s hand in favor of a hug. Kotetsu froze, momentarily. It was the first time Barnaby had initiated a hug, but Kotetsu quickly fell into the embrace as well. It was strange, hugging someone taller than him, and Barnaby’s curls tickled as he placed dark hands against the creaking jacket Barnaby wore. His nose rested against Barnaby’s clavicle, and he could smell the cologne that Barnaby used.

Barnaby released him, and his face was tinged the most adorable shade of red. He looked embarrassed, as he tucked his hair back behind his ear, eyes avoiding Kotetsu - but this time for a different reason.

“Don’t look so stressed,” Kotetsu reassured him. “I’m lucky to hug a cute little thing like you!” He beamed.

Barnaby’s face flushed even worse than before. “You have to stop saying things like that,” he grumbled.

Kotetsu pish-poshed him with a wave of his hand. “No way. Someone has to tell you how amazing you are, Bunny!”

“You’re already almost back at your quota,” Barnaby snapped, coming out of his mortification to turn on Kotetsu. 

“Eh? What?! That’s only like, three!” He demonstratively waved his finger Barnaby’s way. The blonde pushed his hand away.

“Three too many.”

“I don’t get the problem,” Kotetsu shrugged emphatically. “You’re a handsome, great guy who I love. Why not tell you all about it?”

Barnaby stared, for a moment. “Kotetsu,” his voice sounded distant. “Did you… tell me all the reasons why my revelation would upset you?”

“Eh? Yeah, why?” Kotetsu was pretty certain he had, anyways. There were a few spare feelings floating around that he hadn’t delved into, and didn’t plan on it. His apology had apparently sufficed, so everything else was superfluous, as far as he was concerned.

“No reason,” Barnaby sighed. “Just thinking about the Nile River.”

“Eh? Why? Why are you smiling!”


End file.
